My emotions have been like big waves here in Haiti, some moments being filled with joy, Love, beauty, peace or curiosity, and other moments feeling intensely frustrated, deeply sorrowful and angry.
A few moments when tears welled up in me and I felt the depths of sorrow and Love, as if my heart was a cavity that filled my entire chest and continued down into the Earth. Seeing eroded mountainsides for the first time. Walking through a crowd of people in front of the mayor's office, who were probably yelling at us because “we skipped the line” to get into our meeting, and seeing a few unhappy faces warm into smiles when I said with Love “Bonswa, Madame. Bonswa, Monsieur.” Arriving at a waterfall outside in the Central Plateau and being moved immediately by the sacredness and beauty of this place; walking up through the woods and along and over a river, both hands held by little boys who helped me keep my balance on the slippery rocks; and walking into a huge grotto (cave), as high inside as the trees outside, with a hole at the top opening to the forest above, and if ever there was a place where I wanted to drop to the floor and sob in gratitude, grace and worship, this was it. It was like being welcomed inside the body of Mother Earth and being fully embraced by Her.
Today, at a camp, we bought enough water to give to over 30 people for the equivalent of over $1 USD – and realising that $1 could make such a difference, and yet giving money to buy water is only a bandaid solution – then realising, as the rain poured down tonight, that this is CLEAN DRINKING WATER and asking myself WHY AREN'T WE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THIS? HOW CAN PEOPLE IN CAMPS BE BUYING WATER (which isn't even guaranteed to be clean) AND CLEAN WATER IS FALLING FROM THE SKY, POURING INTO TRENCHES, RUNNING DOWN HILLSIDES AND TAKING SOIL AWAY WITH IT? I cried hard in the rain tonight. This water thing really doesn't meet my need for people care or Earth care.